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10/09/2003 Entry: "Another dream, strange and naughty!"

This one gets a little steamy... I dreamt I was hired to build a web site for the fans of porn star Jenna Jameson. (Link is PG-13.) To aid me in my research, I'd been given a stack of adult magazines by the head of the fan club. The head of the fan club? You guessed it: Charles Jones. Anyway, I had to make sure I kept the racey mags away from my Mom. So I was then in my bedroom (which was not my actual bedroom), doing my research, when my Mom came in. In reality, though, she was my stepmom. Yup, my Dad had remarried. What happened to actuall Mom I don't know, but Dad had remarried some young hottie with short brown hair. In a Freudian turn of events, my stepmom and I started with the freaky-deaky. And of course, who walks in during all this taboo? You guessed it: my brother Mike. Where he came from is beyond me. Anyway, after much stammering, I explained to Mike and stepmom I had to leave because I needed to, you guessed it, go fight the Gemans.

So then I'm on this ridge in an Army outfit, with a platoon of other guys. We're next to some little shed like structure, and we're all talking and working and what-not. Just then, I looked down and saw a platoon of Germans heading towards us. They'd heard us, and were coming to investigate. Immediately, the boys and I start talking in German. The Germans, hearing us more clearly know, recognize we're speaking their native tongue, and turn out. In a strange twist of fate, another English speaking group hidden in the bushes on top of the ridge hear us speaking German. They assume we are in fact Germans, and so open fire on us. We're yelling at them to stop, but they can't hear us over the friendly fire. So what's left for us to do but climb into a waiting Cesna and escape via air. The pilot takes off, and we're suddenly flying between the buildings of downtown NYC. He's trying to loose our attackers. Of course, they didn't have a plane, so they weren't chasing us at all.

Once the pilot is satisfied they're not on our tail, he turns back and lands back where we started from. We had just stopped when my Dad pulls up in an old Packard limo. He gets out, and has this really strange beard. It was like Ho Chi Minh's, but without the moustache part--just really long hair coming down from under his chin. And, he had all the brown bags of skin stuck to his face. Big ones too. They looked like bloated leaches all over his face. I said "Dad, you've got tumors all over your face." He said, rolling his eyes "I know, but your mother (meaning my step-mother) says it's nothing."

Then I woke up.

Posted by Paddy @ 10/10/2003 08:32 AM EST