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11/14/2003 Entry: "The Barber of Lunchville"

Lunchtime. Late lunch. Almost 2:30. I'm at the machine in the breakroom. Lunch was a yummy cheeseburger Hot-Pocket and a can of diet Pepsi Twist. I've got the tunes playing on the headphones. Want the list? Sure you do...

"I Will Survive" by Cake
"You Turn the Screws," also by Cake
"Never There" Cake
"Somethin' Somethin" Maxwell
"'Till the Cops Come Knockin" Maxwell
"Wrapped Around," Brad Paisley
"Sex and Candy," Macy Playground
"Organ Grinder's Swing," Jimmy Smith
"The Sermon" Jimmy Smith
"School Boy Crush," Average White Band
"Kid Charlamange," Steely Dan
"Skin Tight" Can't remember who. Some funk band.


I did something yesterday I haven't done in probably 20 years: I paid for a haircut. My Mom's been cutting my hair all that time, and it's free. (We always joke that I trade computer work for them in exchange for haircuts.) Anyway, my hair was in a bad way, and Mom is of course with Dad in Boston. I'd been thinking for several months about going to a barber, just for fun, and this seemed like a good time to do it.

The first place I stopped closed at noon, so no dice there. The next guy (Frank) was open, and there was no waiting.
"What's the going rate for a haircut?" I asked.
"Nine dollars" he said. Good enough, I thought. I have no idea how this compares to other barbers, but it seemed about right.
"I haven't been to a barber in 20 years" I confesed. "My Mom usually cuts it."
"Ah. You're a mama's boy."
Um, sure, whatever. He starts in. I was surprised how little he used scissors. He clipped the back of my ear.
"Why are you saying ouch for?"
"Well, those sharp clippers yo have in your hand? Well, when they clip my ear, it hurts!"
"I didn't clip you," he says. (The only other barber to ever cut me was Chet Hunt. He said the same thing when he clipped me.) Then he pulled my ear back. "Oh, look at that. I did nick you. Sorry about that. First time to a barber in 20 years, and the one you pick cuts you..."

Small talk ensues. He asks questions about how I want my hair. "You want this off the ears?" I have no idea what I want. I just want it the way Mom does it. Length? Again, I have no idea how to answer him. He's mostly done, and asks what I think. I told him I think the bangs could be a little shorter. He lops a little more off. "How's that? Any shorter, and you're going to have trouble."
"Well, I guess that's short enough, then."

I did miss some things from the old days. No talcum powder on the neck once it was all done. No comb from the vat of green liquid. No splash of tonic to make you smell "nice." Little things like that. I guess a lot of things change in 20 years.

Replies: 2 people have rocked the mic!

Ouch? Ouch!?! Man, you are a mamma's boy.

Posted by Paddy @ 11/14/2003 03:20 PM EST

So, how did it come out? Thats cute that your mom cuts your hair. Its also hard to find someone that cuts your hair perfectly.

Posted by Michelle @ 11/16/2003 09:46 PM EST

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