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06/10/2004 Entry: "And I stole this one from Maria"

If I were a month, I would be: October
If I were a time of day, I would be: 5am
If I were a planet, I would be: Saturn
If I were a sea animal, I would be: a humpback whale
If I were a direction, I would be: sow - sow west
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be: a mahogany corner chair
If I were a sin, I would be: lust
If I were a historical figure, I would be: a combination of Ben Franklin and the Marques de Sade (Well, maybe just Ben.)
If I were a stone, I would be: granite. Or maybe onyx.
If I were a tree, I would be: a Maple tree
If I were a bird, I would be: Oriole
If I were a tool, I would be: a bastard file
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: a cactus
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: fog
If I were a mythical creature, I would be: a Jaberwock, or a Wookie
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: a Slingerland Rolling Bomber snare drum
If I were an animal, I would be: a hermit crab
If I were a color, I would be: purple
If I were an emotion, I would be: melancholy
If I were a vegetable, I would be: potato
If I were a sound, I would be: thunder
If I were a car, I would be: a 1957 Chevy hard top two-door in sea foam green with the 283 and three on the tree. Or, a '59 Cadillac hearse.
If I were a song, I would be: “Wichita Skyline” by Shawn Colvin
If I were a movie, I would be directed by: Milos Forman
If I were a book, I would be written by: Hemmingway
If I were a food, I would be: Pasta
If I were a place, I would be: Spruce Head
If I were a material, I would be: cotton
If I were a taste, I would be: chocolate
If I were a scent, I would be: onion
If I were a religion, I would be: Baptist/Presbyterian
If I were a word, I would be: hexasyllabically
If I were an object, I would be: broken
If I were a body part, I would be: the appendix
If I were a facial expression, I would be: a rolled tongue
If I were a subject in school, I would be: Poetry
If I were a comic book character, I would be: Spider Man
If I were a shape, I would be: round
If I were a number, I would be: 7 or 4. Or 25 or 6 to 4.

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