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12/17/2001 Entry: "New England Temperature Conversion"
Here's a New Englander's Temperature Conversion Chart which
relates temperatures in Fahrenheit to various human behaviors:
60 above: New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
People in New England plant gardens.
50 above: Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in New England sunbathe.
40 above: Italian & English cars won't start.
People in New England drive with the windows down.
32 above: Distilled water freezes.
Moosehead Lake's water gets thicker.
20 above: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, hats.
People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above: New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in New England have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0 degrees: People in Miami all die...
New Englanders close the windows.
10 below: Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in New England get out their winter coats.
25 below: Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.
40 below: Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in New England let the dogs sleep indoors.
100 below: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
New Englanders get frustrated because they can't start the "kah".
460 below: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin
People in New England start saying..."Cold 'nuff for ya?"
500 below: Hell freezes over.
New England Patriots win the Super Bowl and Red Sox win the
Stolen from Biz Stone.