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01/16/2008 Entry: "Lessons From Dad"
I've been thinking a lot about my Dad the last two days. Yesterday, I had a real hard time. On one hand, I'm very, very thankful for the relationship I had with him. Not only was he a fantastic father, but he became so special to me as I grew older. I really appreciated his advice and wisdom as I became a father, a home owner, a husband, etc. I knew I could count on him for good, sound, "manly" advice. Don't get me wrong. I love my wife, my Mom, and my friends. But they can't fill the void Dad left. Yesterday, I really needed him. I needed some advice. Some advice he would of been perfect for. And I can't ask him. And on top of that, I sometimes feel like there's no one else I can ask. Sure, I can ask Susan, but what I needed yesterday wasn't something she could help with. Or Mom. Or Jim. Or Dwane. Or my father in law. Or Unk. And once I got in the funk, I just couldn't pull out of it.
Last night at Bible study, we talked about the Sermon on the Mount, specifically the Beatitudes. And, there was a great big section on "blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." As other people are discussing, I'm praying: "Lord, don't let the Pastor ask me to chime in on this, 'cause I won't be able to speak." So that gets over, and I head to Burger King for some supper. There's a guy in the drive through I used to work with back in my McDonalds days. We say hello, exchange pleasantries, and he says "Sorry about your Dad. This is the first time I've seen you since he passed. I really liked him." At which point I'm thinking "How random is this, God, that you put this guy here that I haven't seen in years, and today of all days he comes at me with this. You obviously want me to get something out of today." Before bed, I prayed that maybe I'd have a dream. Maybe Dad would call me on the phone, or something. He didn't.
This morning, I talked with Dad's old boss on a business matter. He's doing something really special to honor my Dad, and I wish I could tell you what it is, and what a super-nice guy he is, but I can't. I can't tell you in public. But while I had him on the phone, I thanked him. And that was like priming the pump, because he just started about how Dad was there for him in times of trial, how he was always so loyal, how much he loved his family, and on and on. Of course, this is a business conversation, so I'm trying to hold it all together, and at least wait until I'm off the phone to let the tears flow.
So it appears my lesson from my two Fathers in heaven isn't over yet. They want me to learn some lesson, obviously. I hope I catch it quick.